Aaron Parecki

BREAKING: USA Achieves 100% Onion / Reality Parity

I put my microphone in front of a 7 week old baby red squirrel.

Can I watch with peace?

@sarahcpr for VP.

It's not that @realDonaldTrump's rally in Tulsa had low attendance, it's that teenagers fooled the entire campaign team into thinking it would be crowded. My heart warms for 2 reasons - we actually care about each other's health enough to stay home and that the kids are hackers.

The fact that you can write off a car as a business expense but not childcare is one of more obvious indications our tax laws have all been written by white, non-child rearing men.

So Mixer just gets to skip town before answering for their racist and manipulative managers, huh

I know that the exit wasn't due to those complaints, it's just a really heartbreaking abrupt ending that'll leave people without resolution.

"oh so men can't even TALK to women now" i personally know plenty of men who have never been repeatedly accused of sexual assault, actually, seems like it's not that hard, i dunno

I really enjoyed this #WWDC keynote. Most people will never get a chance to visit Apple Park but this gave a really great tour and it felt like you were there exploring!

I miss being there in person, but this was still fun and now to make a video about it all ❤️