Aaron Parecki

People are starting to say Elon Musk isn't actually a real engineer. But he definitely said "I don't know why people think Twitter is so complicated. I could fix it in like a weekend." And then proceeded to fuck everything up. That's exactly like an engineer.

i was on tumblr when yahoo had to sell it for $3 million after buying it for $1.1 billion. we were all a little bit responsible for losing yahoo a billion dollars. and with that type of collective effort, i believe we here on twitter can lose elon musk even more

Only one winner and it’s this

Twitter Community: Knock Knock
Elon: Who's there?
Twitter Community: Parody
Elon: Parody who?
Twitter Community: Pairodeez Nuts

this is exactly how Kendall Roy would have handled Twitter

From @ZoeSchiffer and I, an account of one of the most chaotic days in Twitter’s history. We’re making it free for everyone to read because we think the whole story needs to be told.

https://www.platformer.news/p/inside-the-twitter-meltdown

we criticize hollywood for lazy tropes but our two main antagonists right now is a former kgb agent with a penchant for poisoning and an emerald mine heir who wants to live on mars. if these were bond villains they’d be dismissed as caricature

Companies make mistakes all the time, but you don’t normally have like a one week period where Exxon decides to set all of its oil on fire and then calls the fire department to put it out then shoots the firemen then announces a shift into the logging business

Help! I want off this site but things are too funny right now

I love that at no point, when everyone's talking about what other platforms we're gonna bail to, is Facebook ever considered an option lol

Update: The Twitter wildfire is at 44 billion acres and 0% contained.

That's another aspect to this that is so poignant for me, personally. I tried to make Twitter better. I tried to make Twitter the fediverse, back in 2008, and after I failed, I left and tried to make the fediverse a thing without Twitter.

Turns out cryptocurrency is as much of a scam as we all said…the entire time.

Twitter now feels like the end of a party that went way too long. Everyone is drunkenly on the sidewalk, hugging and saying their goodbyes; all the while, the house has caught on fire.

I've run an online social website for 4 years now. I host it on my servers and not a 3rd-party website. If you want to keep up with me and a few thousand other people, come over. We talk money, pets, parenting, and dank memes. I give out cute badges for $0 https://forum.ohmydollar.com/

NEW: Twitter has suspended the launch of Twitter Blue and is actively trying to stop people from subscribing "to help address impersonation issues," per an internal note. 1/

I say we all tweet the reckless chaos we been holding back in our drafts.

You have to open twitter, log in on the car, place your phone on the ground and then run it over to scan the QR code that appears underneath the vehicle and it has to be scanned while you are listening to the new Taylor Swift album or it won’t work.

Omg it worked. And I only had to pay $150k for this new badge!!!!!!

I'm here with you all the way 🔥