Aaron Parecki

Uhhh, what the fuck? Without my permission, or even notifying me, Yelp has created a GoFundMe fundraiser for my bar @suckerpunchpdx.

Flour. Suddenly, “everybody bakes” 🙄🙄

Ready for the Zoom birthday party

Today I learned: protect your online events from zoombombing. It really sucks.

iPad setups just always look cleaner than Macbook Pro’s. I want a matte black MacBook Pro so bad.

The mystery is electrifying. #triscuitgate

Guys, I just checked the Ts & Cs of Zoom, House Party, FaceTime and Skype. Turns out you don’t have to take a photo of your screen and share it on social media every time you have a video call 👍

Look, Apple screen time report, nobody wants to hear your shit right now.

1920: Alcohol is prohibited

2020: Liquor stores are an essential business during a national health crisis

Just updated some of the wording and sign up process on i.haza.website. Thanks @doubleloop for the feedback!

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious with some #coronavirus inspired lyrics!

Many have barely finished their second week ever of learning to work from home. In the midst of an unprecedented outbreak, everyone is improvising. You know what doesn’t help? Telling people doing their best to adapt to a new situation that “you’re doing it wrong”

Oh good its not just me 🤣

truth.

Say hello to the New Normal 👋🏽 This is a bright and light, floral, tequila negroni. Tequila, Aperol, Cocchi Americano, liqueur violette and hopped grapefruit bitters. Good to liven your senses while you watch the trees bloom🌳🌻We are delivering! Support local! #clintonhill #brooklyn #imbibe #imbibegram #deliverycocktails #cocktaildelivery #stayhome #newnormal

The Triscuit saga is enormously frustrating for me because the electricity biscuit thesis is not well supported by available documents, but Nabisco--which has already said it has no documentation as to the name's origin--is now "confirming" the thesis with no evidence.

OK, buckle up. I wanna talk to you about Triscuit.

News from virtual events frontlines...

I’m in 5-6 event calls daily.

In meetings today, all the paid events doubled/tripled in size when they went fully online.

Quote from one meeting: “We didn’t realize how much we were leaving on the table.”

Some are never going back.

"I bought everything you showed except on one product I cheaped out and bought the knock-off no-name product instead, and this doesn't work. Do you think that's the problem?"

Answer to 95% of any unsolicited texts/DMs I receive in 2020:
1. Yes, flying in poor weather leads to helicopter crashes.
2. Yes, at the rate this is going, this will be as bad as Europe.