Aaron Parecki

I’m 38 years old and my kid just informed me that I’m older than every dog and cat alive right now and that’s gonna mess me up for a month.

What they don’t tell you about marriage is that between year 5 and 15, your wife will record you snoring in the night, and then present it to you like it’s evidence in a murder trial.

I’ll say it again — someone should be selling a $2500 webcam that looks as good as an annoying complicated DSLR + dummy battery + stupid capture card setup but connects with one cable and you’re done. They would be printing money.

The $300 ones are 👎 Someone make a *great* one.

So this is how I learned my work calendar wasn’t private.

"Write 10 suggested tongue-in-cheek article titles for the Onion" -> some of these are pretty good

The people that live here love to lecture you about the environment:

Hello everyone, I’m glad I could be a shared vehicle for discourse tonight.

To those replying “omg no shit”: Good job not believing the robots! I’m really proud of you. You get a gold star today ❤️.

For the anti-AI bro dunkers: that’s very cool & consistent with being pro-human

Thinking about going with an acquaintance to a cramped house party. As the night goes on you notice people in the crowd grinning at you with mouths that hold too many teeth, hands grip your shoulders possessively, squirming with far too many fingers. You're the guest of honor.

The AI #bigfingersandteeth industrial complex promotes unrealistic beauty standards to impressionable young women everywhere—it’s ok to have a normal amount of teeth, and working hands and fingers. Don’t let society tell you otherwise.